random reflections on being a mom

I’ve been a mom for just over two months now. Well, technically I was a mom the moment I got pregnant, but you know what I mean. As things have settled and we’ve started to get into a routine, I’ve decided that I want to get back into blogging. Here’s my first attempt: random reflections from the last two months of being a mom. (Keep me accountable to blog more often, okay? ;))

* While pregnancy was not as I had imagined, motherhood has been pretty much everything I imagined. That’s probably because my imagination was much more well-informed. I was 12 and 14 when my sisters were born and I was basically a “second mom” to them. I’m really really enjoying this time of life, even though it certainly has its challenges.

* At the end of pregnancy I told a few people that I was looking forward to the baby being born so I could get better sleep – they thought I was crazy. I’m happy to report that I was right. At the end of pregnancy I was waking up every 30-45 minutes. Now, even on our worst nights, I get 2 hours stretches (and usually it’s much better than that.) The sad thing is that I wake up more often than he does. Sleep is probably the one health issue of mine that has never fully gotten better…I haven’t “slept through the night” in so many years I can’t remember when I did. Still, I am sleeping better now than when I was pregnant, and while I’m tired sometimes, it’s not too bad. I think I’m used to running on less sleep than most people … I’ve been doing it for years.

* I have a really happy baby. This makes me really happy. I shy away from saying Tristan is a “good baby” (when people say this I always want to ask, “Just what is a *bad* baby, exactly??”) – but he certainly is content. He gets pretty long stretches of sleep at night (his longest stretches are when he’s cuddled up with one of us and not in the co-sleeper next to the bed.) He naps well during the day (with the help of sleeping on his stomach. Don’t hate.) When he’s awake, he’s alert and interested in his surroundings. There are some things that are not easy, but keep him happy:: he likes to nurse ALL the time. He likes to be held virtually all the time – my Moby wrap is a lifesaver with this little guy…I make lots of meals and do lots of housework with him in it.

* I’ve taken a shower every day since Tristan was born, except one day when I burned two fingers and my thumb on my right hand and didn’t want to deal with it.

* Recovery from the birth was super duper easy. I felt back to normal within about three weeks, and during those three weeks I still felt great – just needed to take it easy. I loooooove the hormone rush after a natural birth…I was on such an amazing high! It really got me through the early sleepless nights.

* I want to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again, but I have a feeling it’ll be a while yet. I’m okay with that…even though I have a lot of weight to lose (again!) I respect and appreciate my body so much more than I did before this journey of motherhood began.

* I love watching my little guy change and grow up. A few days ago I discovered he loves the Tchaikovsky violin concerto – he quiets down every time I play it. He doesn’t do this with any other piece of music. It’s amazing to me that a person so small can have such opinions! He’s starting to bat at toys and smile a lot. I love every minute of getting to know him.

* I miss my violin students! I’m actually looking forward to getting back to teaching in September, although I’m not really looking forward to figuring out how to work the schedule so my little guy is happy all the time. Hoping by then he spaces apart his nursing sessions a little more! I *really* don’t want to pump. We did it a bit at the beginning when he was having trouble nursing and…yeah. I hated it.

* I love this baby stage so much I’m already looking forward to having another one. Gonna wait awhile, because I’m NOT looking forward to pregnancy, and I want to be healthier the next go-around.

* Mike and I have discovered that it is much much harder to find time to focus on *our* relationship. It really takes being intentional about it. The evening hours go so fast! I have been so, so grateful that we had 4 years to focus on *us* before adding a baby into the mix.

* Being a mom has challenges, for sure. I often think of how much harder it will be with 2 or 3! But I love every minute of it. There is something so amazing and rewarding about creating and nurturing a new life, one that wouldn’t exist without me. It gives more purpose to my days than anything I’ve ever done.