In a conversation last week with a fellow birthworker, she told me that the reason she most wished that she had had birth photography during her births was because of the way her husband supported her and loved on her during the birth process – and how she wished that she had a record of that to look back on.
One of the things that frequently comes up when I consult with potential clients is that their partner is hesitant about having a photographer in the room. For some, it feels like such a vulnerable and intimate a moment – and their experience of “photoshoots” is discomfort. They don’t want to “be on display” during the birth of their child. For others, they’re confident that they can be the one to document and take photos. Still others are unsure of the cost – birth photography is a large investment, after all!
All of these feelings are valid – and at the same time, can cause families to miss out on some of the most precious memories in their family’s story.
Birth is certainly intimate – and this is exactly why hiring an experienced photographer is important. As a birth photographer, I don’t shoot a birth session the way I shoot any other session. There is no posing, no directing. There is no “being on display.” If I’ve done my job well, you should hardly even notice that there is a camera in the room. At the same time, I’m an integral part of your team – providing a continuity of care that sometimes gets lost with shift changes at a hospital. The medical providers in your birth space don’t necessarily know you – I do. From the time you book until you give birth, I’ve spent time getting to know your family, your dynamic with your partner (and your other children, if you have them.) We’ve had a pregnancy photoshoot where we laugh and tell stories. If you hire me as a doula in addition to photographer, I am also providing physical and emotional support during your birth – but even if you don’t, my doula heart is always with me in that room, and I am always a part of your support team.
“A watched pot never boils” is true, and there is a difference between being watched and being witnessed. What I bring into your space is 14 years of being a witness to and advocate for the power and strength of the birth process.
And in that process, partners become parents as well – and they deserve to be in the photos, not taking them. No birth partner should be worried about pulling out their phone or camera and remembering to document the process. Not to mention that any photos they take will be missing a crucial part of the story – themselves! The connection between birth partner and birthing person is one of the most important things I highlight in every birth story – as well as the first tender moments of both parents meeting their child. One of my clients told me the following after her birth:
“My husband was apprehensive about having another person in our home for the birth and didn’t quite see the purpose of capturing laboring moments. But before our baby was 12 hours old he had commented to me several times about how incredible you were and that ‘she’s worth her weight in gold.’”
Having a baby is expensive – I get it. And I know many families have to choose their priorities for where funds go during this time. At the top of the list, every time, should be the care providers that adequately support your birth preferences, provide autonomy and consent and trauma informed care. If you can only afford one thing, I will be the first to say – put this at the top.
But I would say that right below that should be documentation of your story – because right after creating the birth story you want to experience should be remembering and celebrating that story. We all invest in wedding photography when we get married because we know that when the big day is over, the photos are all we have to mark that it happened, that it mattered. The day you transform into a parent is just as pivotal – and I would venture to say that my birth photos carry even more weight to me than my wedding photos. They are a way of saying this happened and this mattered. And that is always worth investing in.
