finding out {letters to my baby}

I’ve decided to add a regular Thursday feature here at the blog: letters to my baby. The idea of writing to my baby is something I’ve planned for a long time, and now that I’m here, I’m finding it’s helping me to connect to my baby as a real person. Welcome to the first installment!

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Dear baby,

One week ago I took a pregnancy test and found out that I’m pregnant with you! Daddy and I were so excited. Daddy started seeing the test turn positive before I did and he said, “That sure looks positive to me.” I didn’t believe him so I sort of pushed him out of the way so I could see. We started laughing uncontrollably and hugging each other. I couldn’t believe it – I even took a different kind of pregnancy test just to make sure. Then we rushed into the other room and started making phone calls so we could tell everyone the good news. Everyone is so excited about you, baby. They can’t wait to meet you!

So far I don’t really feel pregnant. I have a few mild symptoms, like having to use the bathroom more often, but none of the really nasty stuff like nausea. I haven’t even had much tiredness, although yesterday afternoon and evening I thought the tiredness was finally hitting.

I’m five weeks tomorrow, which means there are only 35 weeks to go. I’m excited to meet you, but I’m excited about every step along the way too and I’m not in a hurry. In a few more weeks you’ll be able to hear music – I can’t wait to share some of my favorites with you. I think we will listen to Beethoven the most – he is my favorite composer and I think you will like his stuff a lot. He was pretty brilliant.

I think the craziest thing to me so far is that I feel so much love for you already. The pregnancy books say that you’re the size of a green pea and that you’re adding a million cells every minute. That’s crazy to me – how can I have this much love for something so small? But I do. I wonder about you – will you be a boy or a girl? Will you be an introvert or an extrovert? Will you love music and books or will you build treehouses and want to become an engineer? I’m so looking forward to discovering you and getting to know you.

We’re already making plans for your birth. Well, truth be told, we started making plans before we even knew about you. I had met a local midwife last year whom I fell in love with, so we emailed her right away. We’re going to have you at home, barring any complications – I want it to be quiet and peaceful and happy. If things work out, I might even be able to have a waterbirth – wouldn’t that be fun? I think you’d like it.

Be healthy, my little one.

love,
mommy