Dear Tristan: on curiosity

Dear Tristan,

I hope a lot of things for you, but one of my greatest hopes is that you will always stay curious.

We humans all start out that way – curious about the world around us. I love taking you on walks, where everything you hear and everything you see is interesting to you. You can stare at something for SO long – I don’t even know how an almost-seven-month-old can have such a long attention span – I think it’s because you’re so curious about what it is, how it works. You love different textures and shapes. You love exploring. You are literally curious about EVERYTHING.

We all start this way, but somewhere along the way, curiosity dies for most of us. The “wonder” is replaced by “been there, done that” or “that’s boring” or “I already know what I need to know.” The thirst for learning that all babies and children have is replaced by being content with what you know…or even, in some cases, a resistance to learning anything new. Sometimes it seems like people just don’t know that there is SO much out there that they don’t know yet. Or worse, they don’t care.

Why is this so important to me? I think it goes beyond just the fact that there is always more to learn (which there is, of course.) I think it’s because, at least for me, I have become who I am largely because of things I have been curious about, things I have read that have led me to think about the world and myself in new ways. I don’t even know who I would be without my curiosity, without always reading and learning and changing. Without curiosity, we only know one way of doing things – usually the “status quo”, whatever the majority of people around us are doing. Without curiosity, when confronted with a new situation or something challenging, we can get lost and overwhelmed and make decisions we later regret…decisions we wouldn’t have made if we’d had more information. Without curiosity, we have to rely on others to tell us what to think or what to do.

I think that without curiosity, it’s hard to become fully yourself.

Something I love about having a baby in the house – about having YOU in the house – is seeing and being reminded of what we all have in us, what we were all born with….things like curiosity. At the same time I feel a little sad, because I know this world we live in will try to steal these things from you, try to turn you into just another cog in the machine, a carbon copy of everyone else around you.

I pray that you’ll resist, that you’ll keep your curiosity and desire to always learn. It is through curiosity that we consider things we may never have thought about before, that we grow and change, that we are able to offer empathy to another person. Curiosity can be the drive that enables you to make a better life for yourself or for someone you love.

May you never be content with what you know…may you always want to know more.

love,
mama

First in this series: on failing to live up to ideals.

Daddy’s letters:
I love you
I’m sorry